Massage Etiquette: What to Do Before, During and After

Before the session

• Arrive 10 minutes early

  Not for politeness — for you. Arriving flustered costs you the first ten minutes of the session, which is roughly the time it takes most people to stop bracing.

• Shower if you can, but do not shave

  A shower is appreciated. Shaving right beforehand is not: freshly shaved skin reacts badly to oil and friction. If you shave, leave a day.

• Eat lightly, not heavily

  Lying face-down on a full stomach is uncomfortable, and prolonged pressure on the abdomen after a large meal is worse. An hour's gap is enough.

• Say what you actually want

  Full body is not one thing. Say which areas matter, which are off limits, and what outcome you want — relief from a specific ache is a different session from general relaxation.

• Mention health conditions unprompted

  Pregnancy, high blood pressure, recent surgery, blood thinners, injuries, skin conditions. These change what is safe, not just what is comfortable, and a therapist cannot see them.

Undressing and draping

This is the question people are most anxious about and least likely to ask, so: you undress to your own level of comfort, and that is genuinely the rule rather than a polite formula.

• Underwear on is completely normal

  Most people keep it on. Some take everything off. Both are ordinary and neither is a statement.

• Thai and dry massage stay clothed

  For Thai, shiatsu and other dry styles you usually stay fully dressed in loose clothing the spa provides. No oil, no draping question.

• You are covered the whole time

  Only the area being worked on is uncovered. A professional therapist re-covers each area before moving on. If that is not happening, it is a reason to end the session.

• You undress alone

  The therapist leaves the room, knocks before returning, and gives you time. Nobody should be in the room while you change.

During the massage

• Talking is optional

  Silence is the default and needs no apology. So does conversation, if that is what relaxes you. Neither is rude.

• Speak up about pressure immediately

  Therapists cannot feel what you feel. 'Lighter' and 'firmer' are the two most useful words in any language, and using them is not a complaint — it is the only way the session works.

• Know the line between discomfort and pain

  Deep work on a tight muscle can be uncomfortable in a way that feels productive. Sharp, radiating, or breath-catching pain is not that, and should stop the moment you say so.

• Phone off, not on silent

  A buzzing phone pulls you out of exactly the state you paid for.

• You can stop at any point

  For any reason, without explaining. Anything that makes you uncomfortable — including being touched somewhere you did not agree to — is grounds to end the session immediately.

When you do not share a language

Most etiquette advice assumes you can simply tell your therapist what you want. Across Southeast Asia that is often not the case, and 'medium pressure, please' does not survive translation reliably — 'medium' is not a fixed quantity even between two people who speak the same language.

• Show, do not describe

  Point at the area. Use your hand to indicate pressure — a light tap versus a firm press communicates more than an adjective.

• Agree on one signal before you start

  A raised hand for 'lighter' settles most of the session in advance and avoids interrupting it later.

• Write the important things down beforehand

  Injuries, medical conditions and no-go areas are exactly the details you cannot afford to mime, and exactly the ones that come up mid-session when you are face-down and least able to explain.

• Bring it in their language, not yours

  A written note the therapist can read in their own language removes the guesswork entirely. This is what a Massage Pass is: your pressure, focus areas, areas to avoid and health notes on one link, displayed in the language of the person reading it.